The boy in the green oscar hoodie is the Turnip. He is my second born and my “happy accident”. His birthday is 7/18/05. Looks adorable yes? And he is, but he is also a bit….moody. But he has the most amazingly developed sense of humor Ive ever seen in a small child. It saves him.
The patriotic boy is Norm, my oldest (birthday 4/23/02). He is a sweet, adorable ray of sunshine who i think we are systematically ruining. (Stay posted for the entry….ways we are screwing up our kids) Despite his gentle appearance here, he is actually quite a little bundle of neurosis. We fear he will one day turn into Norman Bates (hence the nickname)
Gill Smoke, aka tall bald curly mustached man (he shaved three days after this pic was taken) aka naggy bitch has been my partner in crime/surrogate mother/lovemonkey handler for many years. We were married in a mexican barrio one monday afternoon in 1994. The setting itself was named after the place where Jesus had his moment of doubt. Well nobody took the bitter cup from Gill either and now we have real jobs, two little boys and a ridiculous house payment because ive shredded our credit so mercilessly. Thankfully, Gill is also an optimist and has a good sense of humor about life. In fact, he is the one who first deemed me a spider monkey and likes to say when we meet people “Living with Crse is like living with an exotic pet. Oh sure she is cute and entertaining but leave her alone too long and she starts flinging poop at the walls.” For the record, I myself have never flung poop. The turnip has eaten poop, but despite ensuing panic, no flinging was involved in that either.
The Au Pair Our twenty year old cute little hippie baby sitter/family manager who sometimes lives here.
George-beloved family mutt.
Madame Fabu-Best friend and supervisor. Keeps me on track. Partner in much family crime and frozen vodka drinks.
Senor Fabu- Husband of Madame. Fellow middle child. General monkey wrench in plan making.
Princess Fabu- Seven year old (going on 22) Fabu daughter. Girlfriend of Norm. Mother of his 13 children according to last report.
Littlest Fabu (aka mini fabu)- Three year old Scorpio, cute enough to get away with it.
Lonnie Manko- Uberboss and professional and personal mentor. Helps reframe all the nasty stuff and keeps us laughing.
Spike- Madame Fabu’s office mate and pop-culture kindred spirit. Sometimes I think Spike is the male me except younger and in much better shape. Oh and more organized and reasonable.
Shakes Thursday morning group friend/co-worker/kickball player. Named as such for the insane amount of caffeine she drinks.
Drew Thursday morning group friend/co-worker/kickball player. Named for her uncanny resemblance to young Drew Barrymore (you know, before she started taking the drugs).
Sega Thursday morning group friend/co-worker and go-to person for many many things. I cannot tell you why she is named Sega.
Darcy Thursday morning group friend. Probably the one in the group folks would vote as most likely to be the anti-crse (in a good organized, well-groomed way)
Cim-Fairy Godmother/bestfriend/oldest friend/ knows all the dirty laundry/ general spiritual twin.
Gretty- Fairy Godmother/sitter/bestfriend/life coach( not in order necessarily)
Erthy- Fairy Godmother/bestfriend/soul sister/ voice of moral reason.
Moe- Fairy Godmother/bestfriend/my main life passage friend. She is there for all my big times. She is hilarious and can make anything seem bearable. She also has an adorable little boy Owie who has leukemia. Moe is the hero of our tribe.
Roxie Fairy Godmother/bestfriend/toughchick. Has some weird bond with Gill where she had him convince me to move to overpriced suburb because she is here and he had her talk me into giving turnip the middle name of Aloysius.
T- Fairy Godmother/bestfriend/spiritual presence/ can always be counted on for trash talking good time.
Luckybuzz- Fairy godmother/bestfriend/introduced me to blogging/oldest drinking buddy/all encompassing coolness. go see her and learn about the sexycool luckybuzz.
Norm Sr. Norm’s namesake, Gill’s best friend ever and the man who set us up because I reminded him so much of his best friend. Afterwards, he had no idea why he thought that but hell, it worked for us.
Bonsai- Family Ally. Sister in law (Brother Dave’s wife)/most positive maternal figure. General safe place to go.
Buddy- Family Ally. Sister in law (Brother Sasquatch’s wife)/ closest thing to real sister in every way. Spirited and hilarious.
Lucy-Family Ally. Sister-in-law (Stepbro Reg”s wife, mother to Mira (b.1999) and Gwennie (b. 2003). HILARIOUS spirit mentor. Go see her too
Cousin Litchick Family Ally. Brilliant beautiful caustic cousin. (don’t tell the others but she is my favorite cousin)
Sven and Ursula Gill’s sister’s kids. Surprisingly pleasant and delightful to be around considering they are pre-teens.
Big D My eldest nephew. (Bonsai and Dave’s firstborn) He is well into his teens now but will always be my baby boy.
Cast will be amended as new characters are referenced.