What kind of wife doesnt steal her own spouse’s MeMe? Its a little out there but if you know Gill-Smoke then this will not surprise you.
1. What did you dream last night? I dreamt about my grammy. I was due. I dreamt she was there and I somehow knew I wouldnt be able to hug her because it was a dream but I tried to anyway, but she stopped me and said, she didnt know what would happen because she thought her insides might have been gnawed out. For some reason we both giggled. I was crying because i was so happy to see her. I asked her how it was on the other side and she said it was “cool”. The dream made me so happy.
2. What image or symbol represents the absolute of your desires? The beloved tree sloth
3. In what ways has your fate been affected by invisible forces you don’t understand or are barely aware of? Meet my husband Gill-smoke. Finding him was PURE FATE.
4. Tell a good lie. Well Norm, we cant go to the water part of the amusement park because its closed. Those kids are walking around with towels because they took showers in the boys room because they were so hot. We cant go in the boys room because daddy isnt here.
5. What were the circumstances in which you were most dangerously alive? Living on the mountain.
6. Are you a good listener? If so, describe how you listen. If not, explain why not. I Yes thats why I get paid the big bucks. I try to listen without judgment and with empathy
7. Compose an exciting prayer in w hich you ask for something you’re not supposed to. Sweet baby jesus all wrapped up in your gold fleece diaper, please smite my enemies by causing them to pee their own pants whenever they dont listen to my advice. Oh baby jesus all snug in your manger watching baby einstein shapes learning about shapes and colors, please curse that lady who spelled her kid’s name all stupid that makes me want to point and laugh him. Make others point and laugh at her like I point and laugh unto her kid.
8. What’s the difference between right and wrong? My opinions obviously
9. Name something you’ve done to undo, subvert, or neutralize the Battle of the Sexes. My wife and I have non standard gender roles.
10. Have you ever witnessed a child being born? If so, describe how it changed you. No I couldnt see anything. It was pretty damn intense though.
11. Compose a beautiful blasphemy that makes you feel like crying.
I had to think about this. I ended up crying in my therapist’s office because my sweetest friend’s dog died. And I was crying because my friend is so beautiful and because I love that she is my family and that seemed a beautifully blasphemous outburst for my therapy session.
12. What do you do to make people like you? I pay them
13. If you’re not familiar with the Jungian concept of the “shadow,” find out about it. If you are, good. In either case, give a description of the nature of your personal shadow. “the black. it represents my mother”.
14. Talk about three of your most interesting personalities. Give each one a name and a power animal. Well first there is Hank. His power animal would probably be a swine. He is a male chauvinist 50s husband who expects to be waited on hand and foot. He is a pig, but he does love his spouse. Then there is Carl Wheezer. His power animal is a llama. He has many fears and neuroses. He is generally a pushover and a hypochondriac. Finally, there is Crse. A confused and dishevelled spider monkey who is entertaining and chaotic but will often surprise the masses with spasms of common sense and wisdom here and there.
15. Make up a dream in which you lose control and thereby attract a crowd of worshipers. The lies I tell Norm eventually escalate into fundamental belief systems for four year olds everywhere. Soon I have a cult on my hands yet they are all four years old so I cant even cash in on them.
16. Name your greatest unnecessary taboo and how you would violate it if it didn’t hurt anyone. Ohhh… I mustnt speak of it…its too taboo…
17. Give an example of how smart you are in the way you love. I can only point to my family (stealing this from gill but adding) and my friends.
18. What ignorance do you deserve to be forgiven for? Ignoring the suffering of the people around me (going with gill’s here too)
19. What was the pain that healed you the most? Having a horrible mom then becoming a mom myself.
20. Make a prediction about yourself. I predict I will be eating halloween candy within the next half hour.