Things making me chronically grouchy today.
-Gill had to go back to F@#$ing st. mary’s last night. We got 29 hours of family time before he had to go back. I slept a great deal of that time. And now im alone again. With the terrorists.
-Found out this morning that Norm is getting his tonsils and adenoids out. Ok friends, I realize that in the big picture its no big deal. But they are putting my baby to sleep! To sleep!!! I dont understand why I cant just wear scrubs and be in the room. They do it for childbirth. I think Norm would need me in there more than I needed to watch them scrape Gill off the floor after my c-section (kidding honey) (i know you were down on the floor by choice)(it could have happened to anyone) March 20.
– As a result, Im having violent fantasies of BEATING THE FUCK out of the nurse at the ENT place who told Norm he couldnt eat crunchy foods for a week after the surgery Lady? HE IS FOUR. He has no concept of “week” or “after”. So thanks “helpful hannah”, My kid is now freaking out every time i offer him something crunchy. Youve made my day SO MUCH BETTER….
– I cant find my camera. Preventing me from posting a nice bittersweet picture of my boys.
– A dialogue in my car this evening: “how many weeks has it been mommy?” “Since what buddy?” “NO! MORE! QUESTIONS!” (picture this as a yelling growl if you will) “YOU ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS NOW DONT TALK TO ME FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT!!!” great…
– What the hell is the matter with kids that they have to laugh at a poor little girl who is introducing her imaginary raccoon during share time? You already know she is a bit off, why do you have to be so fucking mean? Makes me want to bring a real raccoon in to rip your mean little faces off…
– Gret isnt going to like this next one. George ate a bunch of poop today. Boy poop. Then he cried when he was done. As if he wanted more. Its all very disturbing.
-There does not seem to be a learning curve for me when it comes to thinking its a fine idea to take two small not so mobile children out to target and then to a kid’s eat free dinner. Three trips to the bathroom, one lost elmo baby shoe and one quickly abandoned leaking bird seed package later, I remember finally, why I dont do this. And ask myself, what the hell is wrong with me? (and im sure as i dragged them both around the restaurant looking for the damn elmo shoe, while the turnip merrily chewed on his sock, people were asking themselves the same thing)
– Bridge to Teribithia? Scarred me for most of my childhood. Didnt need to see it made to a movie. Hey? I have another great idea, why dont we make some camus into a kid’s movie? Maybe the book of Revelations?
On a positive note, some things are making me happy
– A pretty girl offered to secretly marry me this morning!
– A pretty boy called me “sultry” hehehe.
-Jenfactor was my 5,000 blog visitor today!!! Whooohooo!!!
– Possible frozen slushied visits from Skycat and Yogini! (ps: trixie, skycat marries people real good..and she is discreet…just putting it out there…)
– My shameless valentine whoring appears to be paying off! (oh matt allen if you could see me now)
-I also got to experience dialogue like “Look at those freakshows mommy, racing around the road. They dont know how to drive like you do” (again, RT friends STOP LAUGHING!) “I hate kids. They should all go to cooking school” God I love that kid.
– Madame Fabu is back in action.
-Gretty is coming back tomorrow and hopefully restoring us to some sanity….
did i mention my shameless whoring of valentines?