we interrupt our usual bitch and moan monday for a restrained episode of panic.

Hello friends,
I apologize for the recent silence. I understand that your worlds stop when I am not posting. As well you may have imagined, I have been joyously reuniting with my husband over the weekend. Currently, he is presenting his not so missed naggy bitch side, calling me by my first and middle name in order to motivate me to go shopping for popsicles. Yes friends, the time has come. Norm and I are headed to the giant eagle to buy every imaginable kind of popsicle as well as a range of ice creams. We are doing this because tomorrow at 640am Norm and I will be arriving at the local medical center for the express purpose of tonsil and adenoid removal. Friends, Im a little scared. No friends, Im way scared. I am trying to stifle the whatifs and remember that little kids go through this procedure every single day. Norm has had a few conferences with his cousin and my brother, both tonsilectomy survivors and is fairly confident about the procedure. He has been obsessing over the fact that he cannot eat crunchy things and is worried that this crunch free period will start without me telling him and he will somehow be damaged.

On a more mundane note, I think I have some sort of situational chronic fatigue syndrome. I seem to be incapable of doing anything but sleeping and socializing (we all wiggle our eyebrows as we contemplate my loose interpretation of the term socializing) on the weekend when Gill is home. He is calling this my “wussy syndrome” I think it is his polite of saying i suffer from “bitch got lazy syndrome”. (a malady, Ive unfortunately accused him in the past of exhibiting symptoms). Im hoping that this is a temporary condition because it’s not like I WANT to leave cereal strewn across the floor, a heaping mess in the trash can and watch helplessly while he folds laundry. Im going to start taking a multi-vitamin. Im sure that will make everything better!

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12 Responses to we interrupt our usual bitch and moan monday for a restrained episode of panic.

  1. Factor 10 says:

    I, too, have suffered from BGL Syndrome. I just spent a week in intensive therapy to overcome years of cumulative damage.

    Be strong, sister. Fight the good fight. That’s all I’ve got.

    No, It’s not. Norm is going to have sooo much fun being the king. You should get him a little bell to ring, and then train the turnip to fetch popsicles.
    Sending much love your way!

  2. Xavier Onassis says:

    Hail Norm, King of Tonsils! All must bow to his needs and wishes!

    It’s good to be King!

  3. Canada says:

    Good God, do NOT give him a bell!! Because his future spouse will hate you for it, the Turnip will hate you because either he will be chief popsicle-fetcher or he will want a bell, too, and Lord knows BGL syndrome means that YOU should have the bell and G-S can do the fetchin’ (or it can be a call for “socializing” – wink wink).

    I wish Norm a safe operation and a speedy recovery and return to crunchy things. And I send peace and calm to you while he is out of your sight. Trust me, better now than when he’s 24 – recovery at that age is a bitch, let me tell you!!!

  4. G-Love says:

    Cheer Up Sleepy Jean, Oh What Can It Be, To a Daydream Believer and a Homecoming Queen!!!

    Dream away in your swirl of maladies Milady!! Its the only hope any of us have for true salvation and for temporary states known as “peace of mind”

    xoxoxoxo

  5. The Mistress of the Dark says:

    All will be well…do not worry.

    Lordy, I’m the one saying that.

    Just ignore me

  6. Ash says:

    Normy will be fine! F.I.N.E. Fine and fantastic, and all the better for him to be having it now, instead of whining to you later about how you never got him the surgery when he was a kid, and now look, its dangerous as an adult, and wah, therapist and evil mommy and shit.

    Did that make sense?

    EVERYONE suffer’s from Bitch got lazy. unfortunately for my husband, I was already in full “BITCH is lazy” so he never got to find out what I was like before I stopped fight the battle of the laundry.

    And for the record, my world soes stop entirely when you don’t post. Get crackin, beeyotch!

  7. nancycle says:

    Post surgery posts ought to be interesting………..I don’t blame you for being a little scared. OK, way scared. Remember, drugs can be your friend. All hail Advil!!!

    Remember your Iron too huh shoogs? With “C” right? Yuhuh. OK.

    😉 Be well.

  8. gretty says:

    I shall be at Norm’s beck and call until such time as he can consume the crunchies again

  9. crse says:

    Jen- Thank you baby. Turnip is too small to fetch popsicles sadly but he is doing his damnedest to match norm in the eating popsicle for popsicle.
    XO- Im so glad you came by! (folks this is one of the new stalkees)Sadly, we already bow to his wishes and needs so this is not that big of a change.
    Canada- I totally agree about the bell on all counts. Thanks baby!
    G-Love- Thanks? I think?
    Andrea- Its ok, I think. Thanks buddy.
    Ash- Oh honey. When Bitch is pregnant and works full time and does way more housework already than is equitable, bitch ain’t lazy.
    Nan- I WAS JUST TELLING GILL! I need the iron. Im about to take a tylenol pm since norm wont share his codeine.
    Gretty- you are such a good auntie!

  10. RockDog says:

    Mmmmmm…Popsicles! I’m sure all will be fine 😀

    “Bitch Got Lazy Syndrome” Hmmmm…if I have a black eye tomorrow it is because I asked my wife if she has contracted this…LOL!

  11. crse says:

    Rockdog, use that phrase at your own risk, but if you get thrown out, you can hide outside our window and listen for cacaws.

  12. Mert says:

    Oh, babes… I’m sorry I missed your crisis! I hope all went well with Norm. I hope your bounty heaps and overflows with Popsicles and the little man is recouping nicely.

    I can relate to the fatigue… I suffered from this over the weekend and refused to do a thing besides Photoshop.

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