From Happy to Crappy

No, Im not feeling crappy but it had a nice ring to it so I went with it. And this is not a post about shit (sorry to disappoint my more fecally oriented friends). Its about people who go crappy on you.

Why do crazy people “get away” with so much? Im not talking mental health consumers here who’ve actually sought out help. Im talking about how there is always that ONE person in every family or work environment (Madame Fabu, you know of whom I speak) who turns everything to crap. Seriously? Im talking about every asswipe (male or female) that makes your stomach sink when you know you have to see them. If you know much about the clinicality of the social being, you would define them as “personality disorders” or “Axis II”. Now dont confuse this with people you might be pissed off at. Im generally pissed off at a lot of people who are not asswipes per se. But Ive noticed that I tend to get pissed off at non-asswipes that I don’t know very well. If I know you well? And you are my people? I can put a positive spin on every thing you do. (I learned this lesson the hard way after jeopardizing friendships and being a jerk because I was so sure i was “right” and “being wronged” but I digress. And because I often inadvertently do crappy things to my friends and they never even call me on it) So get any random objects of your pissed-offness out of your head while you identify. I know you know what Im talking about here people. Go ahead, take a minute to summon your own personal asswipe *……..

Image firmly in place? Good. Now tell me people. Why the hell do we have to act like nothing is wrong with these people? Why do they have a “get out of crazy/hurtful/spiteful/meanspirited behavior free” card? If these folks ever sought professional help, it only lasted until they were asked to take accountability for their behavior. Intellectually, I understand that “taking the high road” and “picking your battles” and even “biting your tongue” are all the right things to do. But dammit, Im sick of being an EMOTIONAL HOSTAGE. (writing that in big letters looks kind of stupid but its the only way I can effectively rant with satisfaction). Sometimes, I just want to know WHY CANT YOU JUST PLAY NICE WITH OTHER PEOPLE? Because thats what it always comes down to. Just please play nice. Dont be mean to children. Dont say and do things that would hurt your own feelings. Especially after you made the point of letting people know how much it hurts your own feelings when that thing happened to you. Because then you just look petty and cruel. Granted, this is probably not what many of you would want to say to your own asswipe, but the thing with asswipes is they wouldnt be asswipes if they werent such asswipes! Know what I mean?

Ok I feel much better now. And this friends is why I am in therapy. (Hey! That should be a label!)

Edited to add: As always if you are reading this blog, I don’t mean you

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6 Responses to From Happy to Crappy

  1. luckybuzz says:

    I hear ya, baby. I used to have a friend who would say, “Why do I always have to be the big person? When do *I* get to be the small, petty person?” I feel like that a lot….(except for the times I’m being small. Then I feel satisfied. -Ish.)

  2. Bunny says:

    I think we all have days where we are the asswipe, but some people certainly seem to be taking far more than their fair share of days, eh? Some days I want to do a WHOLE FREAKIN’ POST in caps just to express myself, but I just can’t do it to my readers (both of them).
    Don’t let the asswipes get you down!

  3. Jay says:

    I think they sell asswipes at Wal-Mart.

    Some people just aren’t happy unless they’re making everyone else miserable. The more you resist their asswipedness the harder they try to be asswipes.

  4. RockDog says:

    Jay – They definitely do sell asswipes there. Theya re right next to the bottle of “Ass Away” and the travel packs of “Ass Out”

    Just sayin…

    Ploopage!

  5. Crawlspace says:

    Oh man, I have got a doozy and if I am not terribly mistaken I have placed them in the ‘written off’ category.

    I wish people would just grow up sometimes.

    Do you every recommend being incredibly mean to an asswipe, assuming you never intend to see them again?

  6. crse says:

    LB im such a mrs. kravitz, who was the friend? was it the friend that who elicited my favorite one liner of the whole weekend from you? Ive never known you to be small or petty. Ever.

    Bunny- at least fifty percent of us would be fine if you did a post in caps. Aw who are you kidding? You have a great fanbase and personally your blog is one of my “guilty pleasure” blogs!

    Jay- I believe you are correct although we buy them at target. My therapist told me this exact same thing about asswipe resistance.
    You give good comment buddy!

    Rockdawg- I just had to get in on the ass action. how does one make an anal post safe for work? I did it! Do I get a sticker?

    Crawlspace- I dont think i ever finished this thought to you. I dont recommend it unless you feel it but if you feel it do it! My reasoning is that a true asswipe will not appreciate if you are nice or mean. But if they cant get you afterward, put it all back where it goes and you will feel satisfied (as luckybuzz points out). (of course ive never had the guts to actually do this but im quite willing to vicariously live this one through you)

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