(directed to me)
Every sentence involving the videogame “art of persona” or anime, or anime conventions.
A vivid description of a show involving a tribe of folks who circumcise their boys at age five and force them to live apart from their mommies until the wounds heal nine weeks later.
A detailed list of all the ways a mother could die. A list so detailed that she forgot why she even brought the topic up. (needless to say, I did not remind her)
A recap of the episode of “intervention” where a lady let her two year old play with a pack of crystal meth.
(coming from me)
A weak and sad explanation as to why I tear you from your crib as you sleep, force you to ride “stuck” for twenty minutes and then leave you at the sitters.
A weak and defeated explanation as to why it takes more energy to scream that you are too tired to make nachos than it actually would take to make the nachos.
A four hour cycle of repeating the phrases “please stop stepping on me. Please don’t climb on my head. Please stop irritating your brother. Please stop screaming. Please tell me what you want. Please. Please. Please.”
Actually having to defend the presence of spaghetti on the living room floor which was so not fair since my position on babies and the grossness of mixing them with red sauced foods has been clearly documented for the past five years. (everyone knows babies are best mixed with cream based sauces!)
I will end with a realization I had tonight.
It finally occurred to me tonight that sometimes, when I think people are being nice, they are actually being kind of passive aggressive and mean but I don’t even realize the shittiness of the act until years later. Which is disappointing on several levels not the least of which being that for several years Ive been giving undue credit in my mind for the nicety. I realize that probably shouldn’t bother me but tonight it really really does.