Conversations I didn’t want to have today

(directed to me)
Every sentence involving the videogame “art of persona” or anime, or anime conventions.

A vivid description of a show involving a tribe of folks who circumcise their boys at age five and force them to live apart from their mommies until the wounds heal nine weeks later.

A detailed list of all the ways a mother could die. A list so detailed that she forgot why she even brought the topic up. (needless to say, I did not remind her)

A recap of the episode of “intervention” where a lady let her two year old play with a pack of crystal meth.

(coming from me)

A weak and sad explanation as to why I tear you from your crib as you sleep, force you to ride “stuck” for twenty minutes and then leave you at the sitters.

A weak and defeated explanation as to why it takes more energy to scream that you are too tired to make nachos than it actually would take to make the nachos.

A four hour cycle of repeating the phrases “please stop stepping on me. Please don’t climb on my head. Please stop irritating your brother. Please stop screaming. Please tell me what you want. Please. Please. Please.”

Actually having to defend the presence of spaghetti on the living room floor which was so not fair since my position on babies and the grossness of mixing them with red sauced foods has been clearly documented for the past five years. (everyone knows babies are best mixed with cream based sauces!)

I will end with a realization I had tonight.
It finally occurred to me tonight that sometimes, when I think people are being nice, they are actually being kind of passive aggressive and mean but I don’t even realize the shittiness of the act until years later. Which is disappointing on several levels not the least of which being that for several years Ive been giving undue credit in my mind for the nicety. I realize that probably shouldn’t bother me but tonight it really really does.


6 Responses to Conversations I didn’t want to have today

  1. Stinkbait Boucher says:

    You just described me at the end there. Not proud of it of course.

    Wait – you’re not talking about *me* are you?

    On a more serious note: “Actually having to defend the presence of spaghetti on the living room floor..”

    That line made me laugh a little through my nose. That’s no small feat these days.

    Thanks for that.

  2. The Mistress of the Dark says:

    Uh…erm…perhaps you need some vacation time?

  3. sega says:

    you bring gluten… i’ll bring kleenex… while we r the happy group, we also where r hearts on our sleeves… i continue to send good vibes & positive thoughts… we must draw positive energy towards us…

    on another note, i too may be one of those peolpe you described at the end… sometimes… but it is strategic & purposeful & i sit well w/ it…

    my kiddo is having nightmares… do u think i’m projecting?…

  4. ZigZagMan says:

    This my friend….is why we have hardwood floors!! 🙂

    BTW all my jabs are really meant in friendship..:)

  5. crse says:

    Sir Stinkbait- Im sorry. I should have clarified. I engage in that last behavior all the time. I have no problem admitting to the hypocrisy implied by the fact I am still this offended when Im on this end. Im so glad about the nose laugh thing. It’s nice to return the favor…
    MOTD- I was off last week. They were all still there when I came back.
    Sega- Et tu Sega? No seriously, see my reply to stinkbait above. Have you ever done that to me though? if so, Im happy(or if you were going for a purpose that I missed)/sorry to say that I am still blissfully unaware. It maybe selfish, but Im glad for you that you could project the nightmares. You are carrying enough stress! Warm white light of healing love and compassion baby….
    Zig- No! The reference was actually to someone who is not in my world anymore. I just realized that what I took as friendly joking in terms of a small token from her (memos describing me as having organizational deficit disorder) were actually most likely mean-spirited. Jab away. And at the rate we are going, we will be down to hardwood soon…

  6. Lucy says:

    I’m glad you clarified because I too had a few moments of self doubt over the nice v. passive-aggressive thing. It’s not me, is it?

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