On paper, a patriotic themed spring sing program did not sound all that enticing. Well at least to me. I mean I don’t consider myself UNpatriotic by any means but over the past few years, Ive noticed that the preponderance of patriotism tends to be more like the attitude a permissive parent has over his or her bratty, unpleasant child. On the other hand, I see my brand of patriotism as loving my country enough to admit its faults while working to change them when I can. Yes, sometimes my country might need a time out or to lose tv for the evening. And hey, I don’t spank myself BUT….. Im just saying, sometimes, a country needs to learn.
Bearing this in mind, Im sure you can imagine my misgivings upon discovering this theme. I am not going to pretend that learning last year’s theme was a Beatles retrospective did not sharpen the insult. Still, Norm has been practicing so hard and was beyond excited so I kept my mouth shut and agreed that US is best or whatever.
Friends, it was the cutest damn thing Ive ever seen. They sang woody guthrie. With little hand motions. (there were little hand motions to everything). May I take the liberty (ha get it liberty? Ha. Ha. I kill me) of sharing bits of the day through random slashes?
– When I got to the school this am to see the dress rehearsal, I realized all too quickly that my concerns about sending my five year old to school in his performance wardrobe and requiring him to wear it until 6pm tonight were indeed valid ones. Furthermore, I was one of the few slow-mo parents that took the term “dress rehearsal” much too literally. Still doesn’t he look adorable?
– Norm barely smiled throughout the entire dress performance. Initially, I thought it was because he was placed next to the most evil little girl in the entire school (this is not a subjective attack. She has been identified by many in this manner. Gill calls her the human jackal). Afterwards, i asked him to whisper to me what was wrong. He said everything was fine. Later in the day, he told me he couldn’t smile because his cheeks hurt.
– I think my biggest problem with the whole theme is actually a metaphor for my problem with my kindergarten experiences in general. No clarity. We started with the star spangled banner. Are we expected to sing along? Put our hand on our heart? Then there was some talk about them double singing God Bless America, so we could join in the second time. But they never did it. Not in the dress rehearsal and not in the concert itself. Friends, maybe im just a bad american but who the HELL knows the words to God Bless America. Furthermore, are they even supposed to be singing that in school? I mean Im no Madalyn Murray O’Hair or anything but that whole church-state thing? Weren’t there also ministers supporting the separation issue? (that’s rhetorical. yes, there were ministers behind it) (Id cite this but im too weary) My only point here is that the no double singing was a good thing here.
– By the time the performance happened tonight, Norm was only slightly stained and much more smiley. For me the high-light of the evening was when he was already positioned on stage and waiting and he just all of a sudden pulled his shirt up almost entirely over his head and back down again. He didn’t remember doing it when my dad mentioned it to him. I guess he was hot.
-Second only to the flashing was one of the final songs. Im Proud To Be An American. Apparently, it’s a popular country song. I think it’s been used to sell trucks or something. Anyway, to hear a bunch of kindergarteners start singing about their wives and kids was AWESOME. If I could have done one single thing differently it would have been to give them all cans of pabst blue ribbon beer to wave around.