Now friends, I will confess, Ive not been to many open mic nights in the past. Granted, memories of poetry night at the local bar did color my expectation. However, here are two things I did not expect to see happen at open mic night:
1. An identified ballerina singing an a cappella version of the beatles “blackbird”. She trilled. A lot. It was kind of painful. But not as painful as…..
Now friends, I first became aware of our town’s version of screech last week during a dramatic reading of a very intense play. Never a “saved by the bell” fan, I was not greatly impressed by his nasal voice and his self-indulgent “crazy” hair. I had not planned on thinking about Screech again. Ah but destiny had other plans for us….Apparently screech also participates in open mic night. I didn’t realize it was him until he jumped up on the stage and told us he’d be singing two songs. Then he started describing the past few weeks. Now friends, again I don’t know much about mic night but is it common protocol to explain to the audience that you are twenty years old, and within the past six weeks, you got and lost your first girlfriend and she took your virginity? If so, is it standard to also share during the introduction that your best friend told you last night that she hates you and never wants to see you again? Im checking because that’s what Screech did. And then, as I continued to avoid eye contact with my beloved sister in law Lucy, lest I embarrass us both by bursting into inappropriate chimpanzee like laughter from sheer discomfort, friend screech broke into Garth Brooks. Along with Garth Brooks. It was like that bizarre Natalie Cole duet with her dead father, if Natalie was not a great singer, did not stay in time with the song itself, and performed the song with a bunch of really strange and awkward motions and movements. Then, he offered up the second song, another country song, he described as an upbeat rejection song. And he danced. Oh friends, yes he did dance. I felt dirty and purified all at once.
Ok Im getting extremely sleepy but just wanted to put this out there for feedback…