Another episode of “conversations I did not expect to be having today”

Friends, I really am starting to believe that the only two things standing between me and a lucrative career as an internet star are a large webcam helmet to wear everyday and those pesky HIPPA (confidentiality) laws .

Here is something I just didn’t see coming. I expect that the managed care “gatekeepers” will be mean and horrible in meetings. What I don’t expect in meetings is for them to turn every goal we describe into a bad pun. (Ex: The patient is no longer fixating on the wheels of the train and engages in appropriate play with trains. “Oh so he’s on the right track.”) I also don’t expect them to randomly share that they spent five years in “cognitive therapy” and it was the best thing that ever happened to them. Nor I do I expect them to share with the team that their therapist hooked them up with OVR to help them pay for school. It’s not that Im against therapy or folks with disabilities using resources. However as this was NOT speech impediment girl, and she appeared to be physically able in other ways, I could not help but wonder what exactly her disability was. Friends, do you think I would go to her supervisor with my concerns about this? ABSOLUTELY NOT! (Although I SPEED DIALLED my own supervisor but that’s because she’s Madame Fabu and the whole encounter was not going to mean anything until I told her about it) After all, I was late faxing my packet and she agreed to let us hold the meeting anyway. As in most areas of my life, I think the best approach here is for me to stay under the wire and speculate as to how to work this to my best advantage. Thus, at the risk of sounding elitist, and sociopathically self-serving, I could not help but wonder about how I could use this knowledge to help my patients in the future.

Ive been reflecting on the possible state of her disability all afternoon, you see. And my friends, the way I figure it? them bad puns weren’t cooked up in a vacuum. One or two bad puns, I could have attributed to lack of impulse control (like my slightly more socially appropriate tendency to giggle like beavis and/or butthead when anything could possibly be strung into a double entendre or my inability to control the understandably amusing {to me} “That’s what she said” rejoinder when the opportunity arises) but there were like SIX BAD PUNS IN A ROW! To me, that indicates a cognitive schism of some sort. Now it seems to me, if you have such a cognitive schism, when you send my shit to peer review, I should be able to somehow draw upon your “special” past or at least odd team meeting behavior as mitigating factors in the final decision making process. I know it’s a pipe dream…in a perfect world friends….in a perfect world….


4 Responses to Another episode of “conversations I did not expect to be having today”

  1. Jay says:

    Maybe you should contact an entertainment agent and have him pitch the idea of a reality show starring you to Fox or some cable channel?

  2. crseum says:

    Point taken. Granted, there are probably more than two things. Maybe about fifty things. I think I just want a web-cam helmet for my own selfish purposes.

  3. Lucy says:

    Yeah, that’s what she said!

  4. Bunny says:

    Mild Asperger’s maybe? ADHD? Sensory Intergration Disfunction? Mild CP? Borderline Personality Disorder? Anxiety? BiPolar; Born under 600 grams (in my state you get all kinds of state services for being born little, even if you have no lasting effects)? Now I want to know too!

    I know – Tourrette’s! Instead of tics or swearing, she involuntarily makes bad puns!

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