– I recognize that healthy shame and subsequent self-restraint should be curbing my redundant and continual ranting about how much I hate the parakeet that lives in my house but Im not even the slightest bit deterred. Everyday I flash to that scene in “Gladiator” where Joaquim Phoenix is all “Why must he still live?” and something about it vexing him that Russel Crowe will not get killed. The fact that this damn parakeet refuses to die vexes me greatly. I am starting to suspect he is a reincarnated buddhist monk forcing me towards enlightenment by making me care for something I loathe. He must not have been that great of a monk though because while I will care for the bird, I wear that bird loathing like a second skin.
– We have a new dog. It is a complex situation but he is wonderful and Im hoping he lives with us forever. I am struggling however, because he was another one of Gretty’s rescue dogs and her boyfriend gave the dog a name I find to be rather feminine. I don’t mind that the name is feminine and I don’t mind that I continually refer to the dog as “she” because of the name but everyone else here seems to mind a great deal. The dilemma does bring to light inherent societal dog sexism I think.
– I’ve been thinking a lot about other preferential standards in our society lately. Two in particular affect me directly. The first is alphabetism. Let’s be honest folks. When large groups of people are being organized, the majority of the time alphabetizing plays a part. I am not proud to admit that before I was married, I was oblivious to my place of privilege in this paradigm. I was a D people. A D. D’s are fresh. They get their stuff first. They get announced first. They get to be at the front of the line. Now…I am a T. Are we staying honest here? Raise of hands, who has not though at a commencement or large ceremony, “Oh thank you sweet jesus, we are finally to the T’s” (insert any letter past R for that matter). “It’s almost over.” If you won’t admit it to me at least admit it to yourselves people. I remember when I was that crappy about the end of the alphabet. Now that I’m there, I’m here to tell you…..well…I still kind of am. (I mean it’s not like Im a W or anything right?) Still, I can now recognize the inherent wrongness of S-Z minimization. Nobody deserves having their minute in the limelight diminished by audible sighs, groans and pointed glances at watches. Fuck you people, sit your numb asses back down and show some love for the real back end of society. I think I am getting a bit tired so I will talk about timism later or tomorrow or something. Thanks for coming by friends!