Sleep deprived Saturday morning

You want to play a game kids? Ok fine. Let’s play “protestant funeral”. Ill be the dead body and you be the funeral director. I will lie here quietly and look dead. We will put soft music on the radio and you mumble to each other in soothing tones about how peaceful I look. I am sure I will like this game better than the let’s jump on the bed from the top of mommy’s legs game or the pull mommy’s hair jam coins into her eyes “you mr. krabs” “You pirate” “you princess” “you daddy” game. No takers? Ok how we pretend we are on vacation and you are mommy’s little cabana boys? You bring me drinks and Ill pretend Im getting a suntan.

Other ways my morning was bad:
– Missed the farmer’s market because I was up all night and too tired to drive. Did not get any extra sleep due to above mentioned antics.
– Got yelled at by six year old for calling Gill “bitch”, despite repeated attempts to clarify that I wasn’t calling him “a” bitch, I was calling him “my” bitch, thus negating the insulting implication of the word.
– Got lectured by same six year old for excessive use of toilet paper. Was asked to demonstrate how much toilet paper I generally use and corrected accordingly.
– Got yelled at by three year old for mishandling the handful of imaginary kittens he gave me. I should have drowned the little bastards.
-And the most offensive part of my morning: Gill made me clean for bacon. Complete and utter inhumanity.


8 Responses to Sleep deprived Saturday morning

  1. Canada says:

    So . . . . since Gill made you clean for bacon, doesn’t that make you HIS bitch? Just askin’ . . .

  2. luckybuzz says:

    God, my morning seems so…peaceful, now. And I was woken up every hour overnight, and faced a poopsplosion this morning (though GB dealt with that one).

    I will be laughing about you mishandling the imaginary kittens all day.

  3. Lucy says:

    Well, you know there IS a proper way to handle imaginary kittens. Sheesh. It’s okay Turnip, Aunt Lucy understands. Cleaning for bacon…wow, that is humiliating, but think of the payback potential. I know you already have.

  4. Jay says:

    “Gill made me clean for bacon.”

    Now that’s just going too far! 😉

  5. crseum says:

    Canada- oh the indignities I suffer. You have no idea…
    LB- Im so glad it can bring you laughter. Remember he is the 2nd. It was all golden with norm so don’t worry.
    Lucy- It just never turns out the way id hoped.
    Jay- I KNOW! See my response to Canada.

  6. There are right ways and wrong ways to clean kittens. There are, however, very few ways to prepare them such that they taste like bacon.

    We’ll talk.

  7. lucy says:

    I love Pascal.

  8. crseum says:

    M. Ebert- Im intrigued. VERY intrigued. Ive suspected for quite some time that kittens may be like venison requiring preparation to reduce gaminess. I had no idea that it could all lead to the delightful taste sensation of BACON. Genius sir.
    Lucy- He’s so money. He’s so money and he don’t even know it. (Props to travis and gret for resurrecting that this weekend)

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