Another game!

Does the fun ever stop here at the crseum? Perhaps my regular readers have noticed I haven’t mentioned soccer practice since the clinic post. (Much like my quest for a pantless summer) Ive noticed you’ve not mentioned it either (and no Im not ready to talk about the notable lack of support shown by friends of crseum in terms of my pantless dreams. Yes. I failed. Seriously friends would it have killed you to give me a little “way to stay pantless” shout out at some point”? Never mind. Still healing. Not talking about it. Don’t worry though, I am too committed to our relationship to let this tear us apart. Besides, next summer has the promise of redemption for us all) I think you were just being polite so I want to reward you with another fun game. Here is a quick test of your accumulated knowledge of all things crse.

I haven’t mentioned it because:
a) It just hasn’t been too exciting so far and Ive had other things to blog about.
b) We dropped out of soccer
c) I lost all the contact literature including the coach’s phone number, thus have missed all practices up until this point causing me to artfully avoid any talk of soccer with Norm and subsequently dread return to school because once the other little kids start talking about their teams, he will realize I completely fucked up his soccer experience.

Ok if you got that right, here is a bonus question testing your abilities to infer:
The coach called last night and apparently read my (our) completely unexplained drop off the radar as:
a) a lack of interest so he asked if we still wanted to play
b) a family problem so he asked if we needed a social services intervention.
c) A good sign that I didn’t also lose all the information from the clinic so Im clearly ready to “run a practice solo”.
They really need to screen us better for this coaching thing. I won’t give away the answer but I will say that Im losing faith in our head coach at a rapid rate.

In other news, I woke up to kicks in the ribs at 715am with the words “koo-waid, get me koo-waid NOW” being yelled in my ear. Did that work in your past life turnip? Because all the planned ignoring, trips to time out and irritated refusal you’ve experienced in the past and present in terms of requests framed in such a manner does not seem to deter you from your horrid little antics. Im also slightly perplexed by you squeezing your entire sports bottle full of kool-aid (that you fought so hard to get) onto the floor. Was your palate so tainted from having to apologize for the violence and say please that the kool-aid was bitter to you? The icing on your little cake of bad behavior was that you immediately asked for more kool-aid after you did this. Oh wait, that icing is the special chocolate-y whipped kind because you actually DIDN’T ask! You demanded in the same scream whine you woke me with this morning! Also? For the record? Im well aware that your refrain from physical attack stemmed only from your lack of proximity as opposed to any real impulse control (you are your mother’s son baby) so no, you don’t get behavior points for that….


8 Responses to Another game!

  1. Jay says:

    If a pantless summer a good idea, then a whole pantless year would be a GREAT idea. I think I’m going to try it.

  2. Dexter Colt says:

    Hey, way to stay pantless!

    The answer is always C. I didn’t even have to study.

  3. Lucy says:

    Here’s how it goes, for every Turnip/Koowaid chore, Norm earns a quarter. He’s not yet old enough to realize that this is exploitative, and you get to sleep. Plus, this plan has the added bonus of making Turnip increasingly dependent on Norm, and eventually, T will stop asking you for anything in the morning, thus enabling you to sleep in. We’ve been on this plan at the House of Black for a solid three years. It’s a beautiful thing.

  4. gillsmoke says:

    CRSE yesterday was a freebie cuz I love you, I am not involved with the whole soccer thing. I will help get him ready and dressed, get a water bottle, pack the snacks even. But I’ve got to tell you coach, I’m not going, the turnip and I will have cleaning time together where I have to repeat everything I say and he goes “Ohh Kaay.” like I’m annoying him. It will be a good bonding experience.

    Lucy, We are trying to diminish the Older Younger role. Norm is not a parent. CRSE is spot on about the consistency, the turnip is persistent if nothing else.

    I liked watching auntie Feather giggle as we had our primates wallow upon us.

  5. Lucy says:

    Yeah Gill, I know. Actually, Gwennie doesn’t really go for it either. I was being hyperboleous (don’t know if it’s a word).

  6. wendylady says:

    When my oldest was still young and I first got sick I would put what she needed in the fridge before I went to bed. That way when she got up she could get her drink and I would also havve a ceral bar, breakfast bar next to the fridge on the counter for her to get for herself. The coffee was programed to help me get up and the preschool shows were programed just in case Mom had a hard time getting up. Doing much better now but this really did help durring those tring 1st 2 years of being ill.
    Bye the way I thought the summer of no-pants ended when the Father-in-Law arrived and the cammping commenced. Unless you were giving peep shows? In that case were are the pitures. LOL

  7. gretty says:

    C’mon Gill, one of the best/worst things about family is that everyone has some degree of responsibility for each other. That doesn’t make Norm a parent.

  8. crseum says:

    Jay- let me know if it catches on buddy.
    Dexter- Thank you sir. (bowing humbly) Yes, it’s c all right!
    Lucy- It’s things like this that give me hope.
    Gill-Smoke- I call bull-shit.
    Lucy- Ignore him.
    WEndylady- no pants means shorts or skirts. I just invested in breakfast bars so thanks for the tip.
    Gretty- Dammit, somebody’s gotta raise these kids…

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