Does the fun ever stop here at the crseum? Perhaps my regular readers have noticed I haven’t mentioned soccer practice since the clinic post. (Much like my quest for a pantless summer) Ive noticed you’ve not mentioned it either (and no Im not ready to talk about the notable lack of support shown by friends of crseum in terms of my pantless dreams. Yes. I failed. Seriously friends would it have killed you to give me a little “way to stay pantless” shout out at some point”? Never mind. Still healing. Not talking about it. Don’t worry though, I am too committed to our relationship to let this tear us apart. Besides, next summer has the promise of redemption for us all) I think you were just being polite so I want to reward you with another fun game. Here is a quick test of your accumulated knowledge of all things crse.
I haven’t mentioned it because:
a) It just hasn’t been too exciting so far and Ive had other things to blog about.
b) We dropped out of soccer
c) I lost all the contact literature including the coach’s phone number, thus have missed all practices up until this point causing me to artfully avoid any talk of soccer with Norm and subsequently dread return to school because once the other little kids start talking about their teams, he will realize I completely fucked up his soccer experience.
Ok if you got that right, here is a bonus question testing your abilities to infer:
The coach called last night and apparently read my (our) completely unexplained drop off the radar as:
a) a lack of interest so he asked if we still wanted to play
b) a family problem so he asked if we needed a social services intervention.
c) A good sign that I didn’t also lose all the information from the clinic so Im clearly ready to “run a practice solo”.
They really need to screen us better for this coaching thing. I won’t give away the answer but I will say that Im losing faith in our head coach at a rapid rate.
In other news, I woke up to kicks in the ribs at 715am with the words “koo-waid, get me koo-waid NOW” being yelled in my ear. Did that work in your past life turnip? Because all the planned ignoring, trips to time out and irritated refusal you’ve experienced in the past and present in terms of requests framed in such a manner does not seem to deter you from your horrid little antics. Im also slightly perplexed by you squeezing your entire sports bottle full of kool-aid (that you fought so hard to get) onto the floor. Was your palate so tainted from having to apologize for the violence and say please that the kool-aid was bitter to you? The icing on your little cake of bad behavior was that you immediately asked for more kool-aid after you did this. Oh wait, that icing is the special chocolate-y whipped kind because you actually DIDN’T ask! You demanded in the same scream whine you woke me with this morning! Also? For the record? Im well aware that your refrain from physical attack stemmed only from your lack of proximity as opposed to any real impulse control (you are your mother’s son baby) so no, you don’t get behavior points for that….