Aftershock

Dear Southeast U.S.,

It pains me to write you this letter knowing what you’ve been through over the past month or so, but frankly, upon reviewing the events of the last 24 hours, I feel as if you left me no choice.

Throughout history as I remember it, Southeast US and Northern midwest US have maintained a healthy balance. A balance that’s kept our country strong and whole. What balance is this you ask? (I should not be surprised that you act so coy under the circumstances) Well for example:
You-have hurricanes.
We- have ice storms.
You-fix elections.
We- have seasonal affective disorder.
You- lose power from hurricanes.
We- lose power from ice storms.
Same paging it here right?
So let me ask you friend, what the hell was today about? Don’t you pretend you don’t know what Im talking about!
I went without power for 19.5 hours today (and yesterday). 19.5 hours. Because of your stinking hurricane. How many hours of power did you lose because of an ice storm? Eh Texas? Eh Louisiana? Eh Florida? Ummm…was that a NONE?????? EVER?????YEAH I THINK IT WAS! So why do you need to mess with the balance? Don’t think Im not sympathetic to your problems. But here is the thing. My job is to be sympathetic to you during your crisis, and when I don’t have power? I can’t do my job. I ask you friend, where will we be then? Taking away my electricity with your horrible stormy residue hurts us all. Play the tape through, friend. Play the tape through…
If you want our relationship to continue, you must learn to keep your crappy weather to yourself.
Bitterly, a pissed off yankee girl.

Here are some expected and unexpected outcomes of today’s crisis:
– Fruity pebbles crushed up all over my bed.
– Inability to print much needed paperwork.
-Inability to have a normal phone conversation after 1pm (when the phone started to go)
– The turnip asking fifty times when we could turn the lights back on
– The turnip staring blankly at the wall. When asked why, telling me he was pretending to watch tv.
– The realization that if society does collapse, I should probably be killed quickly and painlessly. For everyone’s sake.

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6 Responses to Aftershock

  1. “The turnip staring blankly at the wall. When asked why, telling me he was pretending to watch tv.”

    I LOVE that! LOVE!

  2. lucy says:

    The turnip story is my favorite too. Honey, you should have come over. I had power, tv. printing, etc. Still, 19 hours is a long time. You should earn some kind of survival badge, baby.

  3. Jay says:

    I didn’t really think it was fair for Ike to still be a tropical storm when it made it’s way up here even. I can imagine how miffed you guys must have been.

  4. Barbara says:

    Ok, seriously. We had snow in Florida in 1972. It lasted about 15 minutes and there was the equivalent of one snowball in my backyard, so don’t judge our weather LOL! As for losing power. Try losing power for two weeks, fourt times in two months when it is in the 90’s, not the beautiful 60’s. When on a good day, you get out of the shower and are sweating head to toe in ten minutes. When there is no gas available, no ice available and the sounds of the generator coming from your neighbor’s house makes you green with envy.

    I also loved the Turnip and the TV story. You never know when another TS will come. We have drills in Florida for tornados and such. Maybe you should unplug the TV and have stare at the blank screen drills. You never know!

    Glad your power is back on Ohio!

  5. wendylady says:

    Feel lucky that the Turnip didn’t resort to a “Peter Griffin” solution. Like the cardboard screen taped in front of him to view the world as a TV show. LOL
    As for the weather and electricity issue. I’ve been through billzards, Hurricans, Tornados, Monsoons, tremmers, hail and every thing else you can think of but when someone elses weather takes a power station 3 states over and you get screwed there is no excuse for it. At least they got days to prepair for the event. how much time did you get my friend? I think once a certain storm comes to a different part of the country we should beable to change the name or type of storm it is based on its location. Nothing tropical in Ohio. Maybe a weather situation with a piss you off factor of 5 would be more appropreate. Or a weather anomialy coming your way that is a storm with tornado streangth winds and unseasonably lage amounts of persipitation.

  6. luckybuzz says:

    You are so awesome. 🙂

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