Live Blog From The Stage

Ok friends It’s my first public liveblogging event and Im beyond excited. The Stage is a local open mic night at our Community Theater.  My esteemed friend Brooke called out for local bloggers to attend and live blog. (After checking to make sure she didn’t send it to me by accident and wasn’t appalled by the thought of my “scandalous” blog being associated with the event) I of course realized that this must be some sort of cosmic sign that my hometown NEEDS my perspective on amateur entertainment. It’s a legitimized version of texting, twittering, and muttering through the entire show (which, as we all know, is how i get through any and every spectator event that lasts more than ten minutes). I was born for this.

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Ok first act: Is Rebecca! I bonded with Rebecca earlier this summer and when I saw her tonight before the show, I couldn’t wait to hear her story. She is sharing a humorous perspective  of what it’s like to raise a child with autism. Friends, Rebecca is writing a book. And she should write a book. Because her stuff is amazingly funny and dead on. I spoke to her afterward. Hopefully, she will let us link up to what she’s written soon. It’s hilarious.

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Moving on:
It’s Timmy TIMMMMYYYYYY (He’s playing the gee-tar) (as our gracious emcee Ms. Brooke announces):
Timmy is no stranger to the open mic. He has a nice self-deprecating sense of humor. I like that in a performer.

Ok friends, remember I have no musical ear. It doesn’t sound like country so I like it! Friend Timmy is going acoustic tonight.
(Just asked Lucy what the song is called: She said “Never my Love” Im not sure if she just made that up because the guy sang it about four times in a row as if it. She knows Im easily appeased).
Tyler just announced it was “Never My Love”- The Association
His next number- Salsbury Hill.
Ok you kind of have to suspend your Peter Gabriel voice expectation. If you do that, it becomes all about Timmy then and he holds the song up for you.
Im finding myself wanting to sing along. It’s just best if I don’t…….
He follows this number with-“At Last”- Etta James.  I kind of want to ask Lucy to slow dance but that’s probably my vodka spiked soda talking. (Plus, she probably would turn me down. She has much more social finesse than I do)
And finally-Eric Clapton- Bell Bottom Blues; You know this is on my ipod right? He said Eric Clapton and I was worried it would be “Wonderful”. I LOATHE that song because it seems to validate a raging alcoholics relationship with his co-dependent lover. Gill of course finds it more than slightly ironic that the song bothers me (refer back to posts regarding the “Ugly Season”).
If I was drunk in the back of the bar, Id so be sing screaming along with Timmy

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Next is Jim :
He is apparently doing spoken word. Oh comedy! Funny so far. Political humor. You know I loves me some political humor. Ok he is doing poetry too. Now friends, Im not a huge fan of poetry, but if it’s funny, Ill suck it up. “Sure they are all mobsters, but hey….they are OUR mobsters” This friends, is my town in its purest form. Jim’s poems also have: Bestiality, Teletubbies, Animal Feces at the fair. Carnies. You know I love this friends. Couple this with not subjecting me to rhymish poetry and I give him a big gold star.

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Next is Dave. Just Dave. “Like Madonna”, Ms. Brooke says. He doesn’t play guitar but he seems to be strumming one on his lap as I write this. The stage is truly magic because I swear there is music coming out of that thing. He wrote this song himself. It’s good. Ok friends, forgive me for perseverating but he is actually playing the guitar well. Why did he say he couldn’t play guitar? Was he being self-deprecating? Was he being sardonic? He says the song is based on a true story. Im not sure if it’s his story but if it is, friends, it’s a damn interesting story. And well performed. One song and Dave is down. Which is kind of a bummer because I thought that I heard him playing “Mother” from Pink Floyd before the show started. Well somebody over on his side playing “Mother” It could have been Timmy though.

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Ok the next reader is Kerri- She’s a poet too. First poem is a fast one. Kind of like beat poetry. It takes me back to the days of Nancy Bizzari. RT old-timers know what Im talkin about. All we need is Misogynistic Stu in a long blond wig.  Kerri has a lot of “charasma”. Next one is Bagel Shop Soft Porn. Oh she leaves us hanging…did she score with bagel shop boy? A girl can hope so. Next one is fast again. Naked in front of the moon. It was kind of sad. The fourth poem is An Ode To Girls (or why girls hate algebra).  About the stalker mind of a teen-age girl. Harrowing but enjoyable. The final poem is called Birthday Cake! Oh man. This is my total favorite. It’s a sick love poem to a birthday cake she bought under false pretenses. I think I love this woman.

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Brandon is after Kerri: He is a dancing boy! But he is not naked. I still have high hopes. OMG he is TAPDANCING!!!! Ok friends. Guilty confession here. I HEART TAP-DANCING!!! WAY MUCH!!! As soon as I begin my intensive pursuit of a life of leisure, I will resume the tap-dancing lessons I gave up in the third grade and light the stage on fire. And friends? In case you are wondering Brandon LIT THE MOTHER EFFING STAGE UP!!!!!!!! Oh man, he is off the stage and on the floor now. I am officially eight years old and giddy enough to clap and squeal. I WILL LIVE TO TAP AGAIN.

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A young fellow named Don follows crazybrandontap.  He is singing a cappella. A song called Promised Land.  It apparently was written by a local man. Strangely, it sounds old and familiar. Not like something I heard this summer. Lucy thinks we might have heard him sing it before. (Again, we will go with that as I don’t really have it in me to delve into the fried remains of my own memory)

Wow. Don is a finalist in the (Insert local town name here) superstar show. Let’s just hope that it won’t take young Don down the dark sordid road of other local contests.  Ok Don is going to sing country. I must excuse myself from commenting on this as my anti-country bias would prevent a “professional” review. Holy crap Don, did you just say you came in third place in the “Lube Idol” contest??? (That’s what she said) (oh please people, like i wasn’t going to take that shot? Really?) (For those not from these parts, the “lube” is a local wing joint (that apparently sponsors singing contests as well))

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Jay the comedian is up now: He had me at the 64 oz mug. He’s talking about the importance of balancing couples “nice-nice” and “mean-mean”. “Because sometimes you just want to wake up and be mean to someone”. Gill and I live by this credo.  Son peed in a box of cheerios. Love. This. Man. Not a lot to blog because he was really funny so I wanted to listen.

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Two Acts Left:

The delightful Ms. Brooke is telling us the next Stage is Stage Fright for Halloween. If Im still allowed, I will live blog this too!

Rick is next. I freaking love Rick already because he just left to pee. Regular readers know that Im all about publicly announcing the need to urinate at the most awkward time possible. Rick is back. He has a guitar. Perhaps Rick was the source of “Mother” We shall find out! Nope. He is playing original songs. First one is “Seasons Change”.   Rick is wearing very cool yellow pants. The song is pretty. In a funky fast way. I would identify those pants as being Mustard Yellow.  I like how Rick is so interactive with the audience. I missed what the song was called though. It’s again funky fast. Seems slightly more cynical than the first one. I can’t hear the words too well. I think Im sitting at an acoustical disadvantage. It may be called “goodbye” well…which would explain the cynical tone. Yay rick! Ok checking in with Rick later? The song is called “And So Tonight That You Might See”.

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OMG The grand finale is MY VERY GOOD FRIEND DENNICK!!!

AND HE IS SINGING MUSIC OF THE NIGHT!!! TEAR!!!! NO!! MULTIPLE TEARS!!!! Sorry friends. Must break to pause and beam for a bit. Ok that was just damn incredible. I had chills. For real friends. Absolute.  Chills.

Well that concludes my first ever public liveblogging event. I tried to do pictures but they are all just blurry shiny spots of performance. Ill work on that for next round.

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8 Responses to Live Blog From The Stage

  1. […] Tyler came in second with his reviews and his wife Jaci’s fast and furious photo-shopping. Crse the blogtastic provided us with comprehesive and reflective view of tonight’s show. And then there’s […]

  2. Georgie B says:

    Way Cool!!!!

    No other way to describe it. Hope this becomes a monthly feature here.

  3. Tyler says:

    I realized last night that live blogging is an athletic event. I’m not sure whether I was up to the challenge like you and yokris. Nicely done!

  4. lucy says:

    Ahh–live blogging witht the distinctly Crse flair. Tip O’ the Hat to you my friend. I wasn’t fast enough.

  5. Madame Fabu says:

    This was totally riviting!! I felt like I was there! You are gifted in prose. I’m taking the liberty of inviting myself to the next event!

  6. au pair says:

    o
    m
    g.

    Why did I miss this show?! That sounded like a really really really good time! Oh, and I freakin’ love you by the way, tap-dancing?! I never would have guessed! I guess everyone has a “wild” side 😉

    Well noted lucy, the one and only crse flair! Many props to you hon, because I couldn’t have done so well either!

    Oh and there is no doubt about it that the amateur entertainment in the area needs input like yours; not only will you rightfully shun anything in need of a shunning (though only when truly called for), but you find the best things to say, and naturally it comes out with crse humor, the very best of all things funny! (you may think I’m being over the top with my comments, but it all comes from the bottom of heart, truly!)

  7. Jim Jordan says:

    Hey Crseum ~ This is Jim Jordan the poet (?) from Thursday’s Stage. I just wanted to say thanks for the kind write up on your blog! I am like you in that I don’t like much poetry. At least not the kind I have heard for years. As a unionist and Industrial Worker of the World ( IWW ) member I discovered working-class poetry and it changed my ideas of poetry. I took a class on different types of poetry and decide to reject all of them. In the end there are only two types of poems. That is poems you finish and ones you don’t. I have been informed by others that I just write rants and that’s fine by me. I’ve found that if I write observations on current social and political events I will never lack for material. On the other hand the poems become dated. It’s nice to hear an acknowledgment of my stuff as other poets are like prostitutes that view each other as competition and never have an encouraging word for each other. I struggle to be an optimist in my writing but I have been known to smell flowers and look around for a coffin.

    I like your blog and notice that you are a Unitarian. I have attended First Unitarian Church in Youngstown for a few years now and assume you attend also? I did penance as an Irish Catholic for fifty years. After Bishop Tobin refused to print anymore of my liberal anti-war comments to the Catholic Exponent and withdrew funds from a labor/prison issue newsletter I co-edited I quit the faith. I haven’t officially became a Unitarian as I am slow about joining anything being an anarcho-syndicalist.I am much happier going to a Unitarian Church though I keep missing service as my daughter plays softball on Sundays in a never ending season.

    I like your political part of the blog. I was a Kucinich supporter who now backs Obama but I too wish he was more liberal. I’m not a Hillary supporter as I feel her working for that evil misogynistic WalMart was disgraceful. I also hate how Bill Clinton pushed NATA/GATT and dragged the Democratic Party to the right.

    Again thanks for the comments, nice meeting you and I hope to see you in church one day.

    In solidarity ~ Jim Jordan

  8. crseum says:

    Georgie B- THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I was worried my cyberfriends might not find this relevant but it was so fun! Im glad you enjoyed…
    Tyler- you did great! I couldn’t believe how much yokris did from complete memory after she shut down. That was impressive!
    Lucy- Well, yokris did an extremely impressive job with an amazing memory for details sister…
    Madame Fabu- you are so sweet. Im going to pretend it was that good and not that you were trying to make me feel better after listening to my day-long ponderings about “was it interesting enough? Are my cyber-readers going to be bored? Will attendees find my reviews to be written by a dullard etc? You def need to come next time.
    Au Pair- I miss you so much sweetie. And Im going to pretend it was that good and not that you are just really homesick right now baby.
    Jim- Wow thank you SO MUCH!!! I emailed you but really appreciate your comment and your performance!

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