Ok friends, we took a break over the weekend but now it’s time to return to some serious election coverage here at the Crseum. Such is the fate of a blogger in a battleground state. Regular readers know Ive been leaning hard towards republican front-runner
John McCain MRN over at Caturday Night Live. This candidate Q & A piece can give undecided voters a comprehensive view of his position on several major issues. I can’t pretend that I haven’t gotten some opposition from my loved ones about supporting a republican. “But Crse! How can you vote republican? You aren’t rich and you don’t give a crap about unborn babies. What are you thinking?” Since I vote with my heart, all I could do was fall back on MRN’s now famous campaign slogan “Snitches Get Stitches”. But friends, as quickly as the weather changes here in the middle east, I got a text on my cell-phone that could truly turn this race around. Introducing: October’s Biggest Surprise.
A lot of presidential candidates are making tons of promises that they’ll never keep. I Maxine Factor make no promises, and won’t do anything to enhance these our united states. So if you are undecided on or just don’t care who to vote for this november, remember the choice is clear… Maxine for president in the write in box. Please forward this to everyone you know, because only you can help not make a difference.
Needless to say, I was quite intrigued so I decided to investigate further. After extensive googling, I learned that not only is the winsome Maxine Factor boldly NOT claiming to have invented google but she is also not so much with the internet. So I did the next best thing, I texted her. She graciously agreed to take time out of her busy campaign schedule to answer a few questions for me.
Q: First Ms. Factor, let me thank you for conversing with me via text today. I’m certainly impressed with your….prettiness. But tell me. Why should we vote for you for president.
A: Because anybody who’s anybody would vote for me. I’m the Gucci of candidates. All the popular kids should want to give me their vote.
Q: Fair enough. We’ve been hearing a lot about the awful state of the economy lately. How do you plan to help America through this difficult time?
A: I’ve never heard of that state…America has 50 states and Economy isn’t one of them. Now if you wanna discuss Maryland, I’m all ears.
Q: I see you aren’t afraid of tough questions. Maybe you could tell me about your plans for foreign relations.
A: (with a slightly indignant tone)It just makes certain slanderous Jessica Simpson comparisons seem justified. I have ABSOLUTELY NO PLANS to have relations with foreigners. They are strictly hired to do yard work.
Finally, a morally sound president with an immigration policy that works for everyone. I didn’t want to take up any more of Maxine Factor’s time, but she did agree to take additional questions from readers.
I admit friends, I am torn. Hmmm…both of these candidates are local. I wonder if it’s too late for a “town hall meeting” type of debate. I do encourage all of you to rock the vote by spreading these two candidates and their messages around the internet. Also, I strongly urge you to vote. As often as you can. In my poll. Oh and ask Maxine questions below!