Do This. Because I Said So.

March 5, 2009

Ah friends. These absences aren’t good for us. It’s not you, it’s me. And Vampire Wars. And car wrecks and illnesses and audits (oh my). Life keeps happening before I get a chance to check in…there’s so much I have to tell you…but today I’m here with a purpose (because I’d actually planned on being here two Fridays ago with a purpose but friends, I can’t drink like I used to. Well…I can, but the aftermath…and then the car wreck and the illness…but I digress). If you live in my region and you are looking for something to do this weekend, go see “Bug” at the Oakland.
“Why should I?” You might be asking. (Damn! You’ve gotten lippy haven’t you?…) Well friends, not only does “Bug” have blood and guts and craziness and violence? but there’s nudity! LIVE NUDITY! Plus, it’s really really good.
I don’t want to give too much away so I’m cutting and pasting the press release: “Set in a seedy hotel room, this thriller centers on the blossoming relationship between Agnes, a divorced waitress, and Peter, a soft spoken Gulf War drifter. Agnes stays at a hotel in hopes of avoiding her physically abusive ex-husband, Jerry, who was just released from prison. On top of that, there’s a hidden bug infestation problem that has both Agnes and Peter dealing with scathing welts and festering sores. Their fears soon escalate to paranoia, conspiracy theories, and twisted psychological motives.”

Now friends, there was a movie with Ashley Judd and Harry Connick Jr. but don’t hold that movie against the play because this play is brilliant. Allow me to elaborate. First, When you hear the name Agnes, it doesn’t generally bring a vision of porn star hot to your mind right? Well this Agnes is different. She is way hot and yeah you get to see her nudie parts but all hot nudiness aside? Aggie is the kind of character you can’t forget. The part is played by hot (sometimes naked) Terri Labedz and she is FREAKING STELLAR. She takes Ashley Judd’s cookie cutter performance and makes it so much more complex and fascinating. The whole time she is on stage, she makes this play her bitch.

Now the entire first scene is Terri by herself, so I was a bit dubious about Ron Aulet’s Peter being able to hold his own with her, but friends, he did. He first comes across as a timid puppy but as he and Aggie grow closer, he begins to communicate his studied but growing paranoia in a way that expresses a surprising inner fierceness. And let’s not forget Jerry (played by Oakland favorite Ric Panning), who captures every nuance of the abusive ex. He is deliciously creepy and sociopathic while almost unknowingly revealing an intensity of feeling towards Aggie that makes the audience understand why her non-verbals reflect her ambivalence even as she expresses such firm hatred towards him.

Did I mention my friend Dennick directed the play? I remember during one of our first conversations Dennick described good drama as building the audience tension slowly, while breaking it up with bits of comedy or even normalcy. He talked about how this process will make that big dramatic punch so much more powerful. And that’s what he did with this play friends. He toys with you until the very end. And it’s brilliant.

If you go? Make sure you ooh and ahhh over the set as a great deal of work went into achieving that special brand of cheapness we all come to expect in our low rent motel rooms. Also, keep your eyes open for my all-time favorite disturbing character actor. (who also happens to be my brother!) Jim Canacci offers an admirably unsettling portrayal of Peter’s doctor thus adding to the play’s ongoing mind-game with the audience. Finally, don’t be surprised if you have a bad case of the heebie jeebies soon after intermission. I pretty much found myself scratching for the entire second half of the play.

More press release details:

The show runs tonight (Thursday the 5th) tomorrow and Saturday at 8:00 pm. Tickets are $15 for adults, $12 for seniors 55 years and over, and $10 for students with valid ID. Group rates are also available for parties of 10 or more.

For reservations, please contact 330-746-0404. For additional information, cast photos, blogs and more, visit Also check for special discounts.

Ok friends, I slept for exactly one hour last night so I’m going to try to sneak a nap in before alarms go off. I promise I will be more faithful. I’ve wanted to tell you about my disturbing dreams lately. Watching forensics shows and falling asleep to C-SPAN is starting to take its toll on my psyche (not to mention how alarming it is to wake up to a screaming Parliament. Who knew that Parliament was England’s answer to WWF?)


a cheat post cut and paste from the interim blog

March 13, 2008

Hey hey you you I dont wanna be your girlfriend….

Norm has been singing this all night long. Id like to think that Im not correcting his interpretation of these lyrics because I don’t want to stifle his creativity. In reality, I just like his version better. I like to think of my little guy telling off his would be boyfriends in such a firm fiesty way. It cheers me up.

Right now we are watching Dora on demand. Gill is not here. The turnip just wiped half a container of pink salve all over his skin. I think this will be problematic at some point in the very near future, but hopefully gill will be home in the very near future so it will work out. I think the turnip sees Dora as some sort of animated small perry mason (with boots being her della street). As she is working her way through the adventure, he gets this expression on his face like…”Ask the map you say? Well played. madam. Well played indeed.” At the end of every episode he offers up a look of triumph and some garbled exclamation that I think might be “Isn’t she frickin brilliant?” It does not matter if he’s seen the episode five times that day, he is consistently excited about the outcome. I would compare it to his joy on a holiday morning but Im too apprehesive and superstitious to make such a statement since he’s been telling us that he wants to cook and eat the easter bunny.

Ok, I guess I can offer a PSA about my newest addiction. Lime chips. (a little shout out to lucy here as her lime chips last month started this whole obsession). I prefer the local store brand to the tostitos brand because they are limier. Now friends, i think we all know I don’t have the highest nutritional standards but even in the midst of the honey mustard pringle madness, I had never eaten an entire bag of chips in one sitting. I hang my head in shame because i can no longer claim that to be true. I am nothing less than a junkie friends. I have ulcers on my tongue from the salt (or perhaps they are citric acid burns, i don’t know and am too strung out to care) and yet I can’t stop. Even worse, yesterday I discovered that the addictive ingredient was MSG, (an old familiar monkey Ive shaken off my back many a time in the past) and still I eat on. It’s probably too late for me but friends. Do not even pick up the lime chips if you can help yourselves. it’s not worth the pain.

Is anyone following the eliot spitzer case? Now I have to say, if anyone was ever in a position to take the moral high ground by claiming interest was purely political it’s me. I actually ti-voed the sub-prime mortgage hearings last friday (don’t anyone give it away if you’ve already seen them). So I have some street cred when it comes to following political happenings for the sake of knowledge gathering. im not all about the scandal. Except friends? In this case, I TOTALLY AM!!! I REALLY want to know what “things that you know…you might not think are safe” that he may have asked prostitutes to do. In fact, I read the entire affidavit at 5am today to see if these unsafe things were mentioned. Why? Oh please friends. You all know im a twelve year old boy trapped in the body of a 37 year old woman. Why waste my time on internet porn or skinemax on demand when i can relentlessly scan legal documents for the slightest glimpse of a description of something dangerously kinky? huhuhuh huhuhuhuh..huhuhuhuh huhuhuhuh…affidavits are hot…. I need a damn life. But hey…at least Im blogging more…

Public Service Announcements For The Panflutemaster House: Wednesday 12-5-07

December 5, 2007

There will be no ketchup in our house until Friday.

It is not appropriate to pin your brother in a corner with the broad side of a broom when you are supposed to be getting dressed for school.

It is also not appropriate to add the phrase “Jews are the Jewiest” to your extrapolation of the noggin song. Especially not in front of your father, who is of Jewish heritage. Or during the intergenerational church service discussing the blending of Christmas and Chanukah celebrations.

Addendum from earlier in the week: If you are trying to convince a life long Christian to join your church, do not absent-mindedly peruse the news letter and make remarks like “Damn, Ill be in the nursery during the “Dancing goats” service”.

Bad guys do indeed have to go to the bathroom like everybody else.

It’s probably not the best idea to say to the football coach on your first day of practice “I want to start with something easy.”

Despite popular household belief, two year olds really don’t need to wear deodorant every morning.

That is all for today. Stay tuned for further announcements.

everything the hard way

September 1, 2007

i have just noticed i have this amazing talent of doing Really Stupid Things (i know this is not so unusual but) and KNOWING they are Really Stupid Things but having to finish them anyway thus adding extra work for myself. Case in point. If i start using google reader and i dont want to post comments with my true identity, then i should be google reading from my zamphir account right? well might as well realize this at link three and THEN CONTINUE TO ADD ALL THE WAY DOWN TO TWENTY before i think maybe i screwed that up. I have serious google reader questions. Im going to post them durng the week for optimal tech support! just putting it all out there.

fulfilling my bloggerly duties

August 8, 2007

This is so late and I am ashamed. Thankfully the entertaining and somewhat more responsible Ms. Trix triggered this because she just did it on her blog. My guilty pleasure blog friend Bunny tagged me for this as well. Cant star yours though ms. bunny because that was some mad alliterating baby.

It’s very simple. When this is passed on to you, copy the whole thing, skim the list and put a * star beside those that you like. (Check out especially the * starred ones.)
Add the next number (1. 2. 3. 4. 5., etc.) and write your own blogging tip for other bloggers. Try to make your tip general.

After that, tag 10 other people. Link love some friends!

Just think– if 10 people start this, the 10 people pass it onto another 10 people, you have 100 links already!

1. Look, read, and learn. *****-
2. Be, EXCELLENT to each other. *****-
3. Don’t let money change ya! ****-
4. Always reply to your comments.**-
5. Develop your own “voice” don’t “borrow” someone else’s***-Mizmouthy
6. Always avoid awesomely annoying and aggravating alliteration. Bunny
7. Read your posts, not only for errors but for tone. Especially on controversial topics. Crse

ok i tag you! (sorry stealing trixie’s cheat on this!)