Ok friends. I can spend the next paragraph making lame excuses about where I’ve been but we are better than that, aren’t we? Truth be told, I didn’t have writer’s block, I haven’t been horribly busy and nothing is so bitterly wrong that I can’t bring myself to write. Well, at least since Christmas, anyway. I did get a new MP3 player and some books I really wanted…..chuzzle has been keeping me kind of busy….maybe I should stick with lame excuses…
New Year’s Resolutions? Why yes I do have them. For the record, I decided that I wasn’t going to work on them until today. Because realistically? Who starts working on themselves on a Thursday right? If ever there’s a day I stop trying friends? it is Thursday. Here they are:
1. Wear slippers more frequently. I got a pair from my friend Shakes in the work gift exchange and also ended up with a pair of pink furry mules over Christmas week. My feet get cold. It’s clearly a sign.
2. Stop being sucked into every “as seen on tv” ad. I didn’t come up with this one until yesterday. A commercial for blendy-pens came on and Norm snorted. “Remember what a rip-off those were mom?” Ouch. “Just like the snuggies” he added. I said ouch sir! Ah but he is right. So despite the fact that Gill is mesmerized by the Big City Slider Station and we both are convinced that the Shamwow* would change our lives forever,* I resolve to keep Gill’s credit card numbers in my pants. At least until February. Or until I see something I’m sure will better our family as a whole (you know, like those bags that keep your food fresh for a miraculously long time?)
3. Listen to reason. As I was sharing this last resolution with Gill, we discussed the relative merits of the snuggies. I told him that I’d really like an electric blanket. “Absolutely not,” he declared adamantly. “Someone who surrounds herself with as many beverages as you do cannot afford to be as clumsy as you are around an electric blanket.” But I’ll be really careful! “Or you’ll be dead within the week”. Touche Gill. Touche.
I’ve got other ones, including (but not limited to) using apostrophes more consistently, releasing myself from the bitch servitude of my three year old, and improving my television viewing options both by broadening my scope of preferred shows and by using the DVR more efficiently. You will note I am not resolving to blog more. I don’t want to pressure myself too much, but I do hope that happens anyway. How realistic are these goals? I guess we will have to wait and see. Happy New Year either way, gentle readers.
*Shamwow awkward moment of Christmas Our friend Dennick was relating a story to Gill and me about gift disappointment when he used this metaphor: “So I expected to get something really personal and ended up with a Shamwow”. Apparently, our faces must have registered our belief that the Shamwow would be the ultimate gift, because Dennick got a pained awkward look on his face, like we both farted at once. Or told him we were swingers with a penchant for elderly flabby people. He backed away from the simile tactfully. “Ok maybe not like a shamwow”. I immediately recognized our faux pas, and told him I knew exactly what he meant. Gill, however, being the socially astute people reader that he is, was not deterred and launched into a detailed defense of the shamwow. I tried to counter his tribute with a half-hearted “I’m sure it’s not as good as they say it is” but I didn’t even believe myself. I guess it showed because Dennick left soon afterward.